Hey look it's me.

This isn't an exploratory or adventures post.

I woke up this morning and was kind of down. I knew it would happen, being new, not knowing that many people. I almost started to question my move. Almost.

I love hanging out with people and I get lonely easily. Since I have been single I have been down on myself. All of the same bullshit everyone goes through. I'm not a pussy hound or a rebound guy, never have been. All the same I kind of want to meet new people, women specifically. Then that fear creeps in. The one that I have let over take me for the past 5 years. I'm not good enough, good looking enough, I have bad credit, I don't have a nice apartment, my teeth are fucked up, blah blah blah. That shit that doesn't seem to get most others down, but occasionally kicks me straight in the taint and then grazes the sack on the way back out. Just enough to double me up into the fetal position.

This morning that started to creep in. I'll never be in a relationship or get to date anyone again started to push down upon my synapses and almost take over my brain. I was almost ready to go curl up on my bed and just watch Netflix all day. Then I started to think about all the hot, beautiful, sexy, intelligent, awesome fucking women I have dated or had sex with. Why did they date me?

Why did Heather date me when I was living in a garage with two other guys and we had no money? Why did Amber who made 10 times what I did come over to that same garage or put up with me living on my moms couch when I had hernia surgery? Why Are all of my Exes still friends of mine? Why did Jenna start dating me?

I'll tell you why, not my looks, my bank account, not my style. MY fucking personality! My friends (real friends) love me because I say what is on my mind, I'm arrogant but confident, I can be witty, and I try to learn both sides of a story or a problem before I rush to judgement. I used to never let my finances, looks, or living situation or lack there of affect me. I know how to have fun and will do it at anytime. It may not be flying to Tahiti or rushing off to London to have Tea, but fuck you if I'm not awesome. I can make an entire patio of strangers laugh at me, at you, or with me and with you. I don't know much but I do know I'm fucking awesome and I have a multitude of friends, loved ones, and hot ass exes, well most of you anyways to prove it.

PS if you are questioning wether you were one of the hot ones... you probably were not. Love ya.