This isn't an exploratory or adventures post.
I woke up this morning and was kind of down. I knew it would happen, being new, not knowing that many people. I almost started to question my move. Almost.
I love hanging out with people and I get lonely easily. Since I have been single I have been down on myself. All of the same bullshit everyone goes through. I'm not a pussy hound or a rebound guy, never have been. All the same I kind of want to meet new people, women specifically. Then that fear creeps in. The one that I have let over take me for the past 5 years. I'm not good enough, good looking enough, I have bad credit, I don't have a nice apartment, my teeth are fucked up, blah blah blah. That shit that doesn't seem to get most others down, but occasionally kicks me straight in the taint and then grazes the sack on the way back out. Just enough to double me up into the fetal position.
This morning that started to creep in. I'll never be in a relationship or get to date anyone again started to push down upon my synapses and almost take over my brain. I was almost ready to go curl up on my bed and just watch Netflix all day. Then I started to think about all the hot, beautiful, sexy, intelligent, awesome fucking women I have dated or had sex with. Why did they date me?
Why did Heather date me when I was living in a garage with two other guys and we had no money? Why did Amber who made 10 times what I did come over to that same garage or put up with me living on my moms couch when I had hernia surgery? Why Are all of my Exes still friends of mine? Why did Jenna start dating me?
I'll tell you why, not my looks, my bank account, not my style. MY fucking personality! My friends (real friends) love me because I say what is on my mind, I'm arrogant but confident, I can be witty, and I try to learn both sides of a story or a problem before I rush to judgement. I used to never let my finances, looks, or living situation or lack there of affect me. I know how to have fun and will do it at anytime. It may not be flying to Tahiti or rushing off to London to have Tea, but fuck you if I'm not awesome. I can make an entire patio of strangers laugh at me, at you, or with me and with you. I don't know much but I do know I'm fucking awesome and I have a multitude of friends, loved ones, and hot ass exes, well most of you anyways to prove it.
PS if you are questioning wether you were one of the hot ones... you probably were not. Love ya.
Monday, March 31, 2014
Tuesday, March 4, 2014
Whitewash and Circumstance
“Like it? Well I don’t see why I oughtn’t to like it. Does a boy get a chance to whitewash a fence every day?”
This line stuck with me as I went exploring the past few days. I'm not sure why, but it did.
So Thursday night I got a text from an old customer of mine saying I needed to send a resume to a bicycle shop down in DUMBO (Down Under Manhattan Bridge Overpass). Well I was a little liquored so I decided I would do it Friday morning since having a clearish head is always better than a few vodka tonics deep. Well I woke up Friday, sent off my resume and decided I would go check out this area DUMBO maybe even check out the shop to introduce myself. I got up made breakfast, checked some emails, showered and got dressed. Hopped on the A, and short time later I was in Brooklyn Heights. I quickly got my bearings and proceeded to walk off in the direction of DUMBO. I had read up a little on this neighborhood, huge art/music area in the 70's/80's and 90's given the name by its residents otherwise just know as Brooklyn. It was know for the amount of murals and graffiti on almost every building. Well imagine my surprise when I got there and there was little to none of that. I took no pictures because if you have been to Downtown Fullerton and seen the new "old town apartment" buildings they have put up lately then you have seen most of DUMBO. Beautiful brick buildings plastered and painted with modern interpretations of what old towns would look like. Graffiti painted over; and murals all but none existent. It was blasé. The streets were lined with Audi's, BMW's, Mercedes, Lexus' and all other make of yuppy transportation. All with ski racks and bicycle racks. It was disheartening to say the least. This area which once was a spot of inspiration and beauty was now an homage to vomit inducing gentrification. Well at least the bicycle shop was fucking cool. A non-profit shop that rebuilds donated bikes to sell to invest back into the community. They also teach youths how to work on bicycles through school sanctioned events. I kinda of really like it. Check em out if you get a chance http://www.recycleabicycle.org Susan is a badass and for some reason really reminds me of Heather Starr.
Well from there I decided to head over to the Brooklyn Bridge and give a walk. It is awesome a path suspended above the cars with a view of the city and the harbor that is awe inspiring.
I proceeded to walk into the Financial District once again and this time just walk around get used to it. It has no numbered streets for the most part and are all names. So I wanted to get used to it. I didn't take pictures of anything but I had a rad time. I spent the better part of 3 hours down there. I tried to go see the NYSE but viewing has been off limits since 9/11.
Well with a full 8 hours of exploring I decided to go home, get some food and hit the sack. I was bound to do more the next day.
Saturday I woke up and had no clue what I was going to do. I texted Carlos to go to brunch but found out he had traveled back to California for the weekend. He was hanging out with my dog and sent me video and pictures to rub it in. Well with that knowledge where should I go? I meet someone who found out I kinda like books and they told me of this place called Strand Book Store. Off Broadway and 14th. So I hopped on the A again got down to where I should of transferred to the L but it was down for the weekend due to maintenance and them expanding the subway system. So I hoofed it on over across 14th St and ended up in Union Square. There was a farmers market going on and the food all looked delicious, fresh this, home made that, lots and lots of wine. Puppies everywhere. It was awesome. But I had a place to go.
Strand Book Store is massive. It is old school. Double sided metal racks from floor to 15' tall ceilings held stable by odd placed scraps of 2x4's. Tables of books all over the place. It was overwhelming to say the least. I got no pictures because you can't stand in one spot too long there were so many people in there. Funny thing I see more people reading books than E-readers such as Kindle's Nook's or iPads and tablets. I figured in a city like this with the fact that you have to carry everything everywhere you would see tons of electronics. Not so much.
Well from there I went a meandering. I walked and walked east and a little south. I ended up in the LES (lower east side) and Alphabet City. LES is all intent and purpose the Silver Lake of Manhattan. Cool young sheik hipsters, bodega's and pizza joints replaced with Organic coffee houses and Vegan Thai restaurants. Buildings stripped of their dirt and replaced with painted bricks. Not a lot of Graffiti anymore at street level. Just a few murals here and there. I only took one picture of a mural because I felt disrespectful taking a photo of most them because they were dedications to the deceased.
As I walked around LES and Alphabet City I noticed a great deal of Gardens and Parks. Not to mention all of the trees on every street here in NYC except the Financial District. Most of them are closed due to it being winter and really all there is walkways and snow. I can't wait for spring and summer to see all of them in bloom. I came across one that was open and people were doing some work on it. There was this awesome branch construct that I was intrigued by.
Well I walked around some more and came across awesome people and beauty all day. The thing that kept grabbing at me was the "whitewashing" of this whole city. Distinct neighborhoods that I grew up reading about, learning about and seeing through band videos, artwork, documentaries, where being blended out. Alphabet City is a place I was told before I got here that white people didn't venture into 20 years ago. It wasn't if you were gonna get mugged, but when you were gonna get mugged. I walked around for hours near housing projects and lowly corners always being smiled at and never feeling in danger. Not saying I want to get mugged, but there is some awesomeness to feeling a tinge of fear and the only fear I had was where the hell is the subway platform and man I still can't afford to live over here.
Well with that full day of exploring and my hands getting numb I decided time for a cocktail. So I headed over to the sheets again and proceeded to "break" every drink the staff could throw at me. After a few hours I rolled out and headed home. The whole time I sat in the subway station waiting for my train I just heard Tom Sawyer in my head “Like it? Well I don’t see why I oughtn’t to like it. Does a boy get a chance to whitewash a fence every day?”
This line stuck with me as I went exploring the past few days. I'm not sure why, but it did.
So Thursday night I got a text from an old customer of mine saying I needed to send a resume to a bicycle shop down in DUMBO (Down Under Manhattan Bridge Overpass). Well I was a little liquored so I decided I would do it Friday morning since having a clearish head is always better than a few vodka tonics deep. Well I woke up Friday, sent off my resume and decided I would go check out this area DUMBO maybe even check out the shop to introduce myself. I got up made breakfast, checked some emails, showered and got dressed. Hopped on the A, and short time later I was in Brooklyn Heights. I quickly got my bearings and proceeded to walk off in the direction of DUMBO. I had read up a little on this neighborhood, huge art/music area in the 70's/80's and 90's given the name by its residents otherwise just know as Brooklyn. It was know for the amount of murals and graffiti on almost every building. Well imagine my surprise when I got there and there was little to none of that. I took no pictures because if you have been to Downtown Fullerton and seen the new "old town apartment" buildings they have put up lately then you have seen most of DUMBO. Beautiful brick buildings plastered and painted with modern interpretations of what old towns would look like. Graffiti painted over; and murals all but none existent. It was blasé. The streets were lined with Audi's, BMW's, Mercedes, Lexus' and all other make of yuppy transportation. All with ski racks and bicycle racks. It was disheartening to say the least. This area which once was a spot of inspiration and beauty was now an homage to vomit inducing gentrification. Well at least the bicycle shop was fucking cool. A non-profit shop that rebuilds donated bikes to sell to invest back into the community. They also teach youths how to work on bicycles through school sanctioned events. I kinda of really like it. Check em out if you get a chance http://www.recycleabicycle.org Susan is a badass and for some reason really reminds me of Heather Starr.
Well from there I decided to head over to the Brooklyn Bridge and give a walk. It is awesome a path suspended above the cars with a view of the city and the harbor that is awe inspiring.
 |
| Walkway above cars |
 |
| Harbor, Governor's Island, Statue of Liberty way off in the background |
 |
| Financial District From Brooklyn Bridge |
Well with a full 8 hours of exploring I decided to go home, get some food and hit the sack. I was bound to do more the next day.
Saturday I woke up and had no clue what I was going to do. I texted Carlos to go to brunch but found out he had traveled back to California for the weekend. He was hanging out with my dog and sent me video and pictures to rub it in. Well with that knowledge where should I go? I meet someone who found out I kinda like books and they told me of this place called Strand Book Store. Off Broadway and 14th. So I hopped on the A again got down to where I should of transferred to the L but it was down for the weekend due to maintenance and them expanding the subway system. So I hoofed it on over across 14th St and ended up in Union Square. There was a farmers market going on and the food all looked delicious, fresh this, home made that, lots and lots of wine. Puppies everywhere. It was awesome. But I had a place to go.
Strand Book Store is massive. It is old school. Double sided metal racks from floor to 15' tall ceilings held stable by odd placed scraps of 2x4's. Tables of books all over the place. It was overwhelming to say the least. I got no pictures because you can't stand in one spot too long there were so many people in there. Funny thing I see more people reading books than E-readers such as Kindle's Nook's or iPads and tablets. I figured in a city like this with the fact that you have to carry everything everywhere you would see tons of electronics. Not so much.
Well from there I went a meandering. I walked and walked east and a little south. I ended up in the LES (lower east side) and Alphabet City. LES is all intent and purpose the Silver Lake of Manhattan. Cool young sheik hipsters, bodega's and pizza joints replaced with Organic coffee houses and Vegan Thai restaurants. Buildings stripped of their dirt and replaced with painted bricks. Not a lot of Graffiti anymore at street level. Just a few murals here and there. I only took one picture of a mural because I felt disrespectful taking a photo of most them because they were dedications to the deceased.
 |
| Joe Strummer is Dead Jedi. Did you know that? |
 |
| I love PSA Graffiti! |
 |
| What is this Construction? |
 |
| Ladder to a lookout!! |
Well I walked around some more and came across awesome people and beauty all day. The thing that kept grabbing at me was the "whitewashing" of this whole city. Distinct neighborhoods that I grew up reading about, learning about and seeing through band videos, artwork, documentaries, where being blended out. Alphabet City is a place I was told before I got here that white people didn't venture into 20 years ago. It wasn't if you were gonna get mugged, but when you were gonna get mugged. I walked around for hours near housing projects and lowly corners always being smiled at and never feeling in danger. Not saying I want to get mugged, but there is some awesomeness to feeling a tinge of fear and the only fear I had was where the hell is the subway platform and man I still can't afford to live over here.
Well with that full day of exploring and my hands getting numb I decided time for a cocktail. So I headed over to the sheets again and proceeded to "break" every drink the staff could throw at me. After a few hours I rolled out and headed home. The whole time I sat in the subway station waiting for my train I just heard Tom Sawyer in my head “Like it? Well I don’t see why I oughtn’t to like it. Does a boy get a chance to whitewash a fence every day?”
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